As a former practicing lawyer, I have seen innumerable divorces. The environment in the family court is always stressful. Overwhelmed with emotions. Couples who get married with hope of staying together all their life, are unable to stand each other. Sometimes, the hatred is so much that couples even avoid eye contact. It’s as if they want to just get rid of the relationship.
Over the years, the divorce rate has increased globally, and India is no exception. In the older times, only extreme cases of violence or extra marital affairs would qualify for a divorce. Just like marriage, divorce remained a decision to be taken by both the families. Families would sit together and try to resolve things amicably. But, times have changed.
Marriage and Divorces both, are the decisions the concerned couples take. Well, I have had a love marriage myself and I completely believe in the institution of marriage. Specifically, where the couple makes their own choice, instead of being led to the decision. I am extremely happy that today the society has become very comfortable with the concept of love marriage and it is not looked down upon. But, there is something that bothers me here and that is the absolutely incapacitated reasons for divorce. “She doesn’t cook well’, “He is a Mama’s Boy”, I have literally seen couples getting divorced for these reasons. I am aware that many divorce cases are extremely genuine. Dowary harassment, marital rape, domesitc violence etc. However, there are a lot of cases, which happen over unfathomable reasons.
It is painful. Especially if there are kids involved.
I am not sure if it would be easy for these children to believe in the institution of marriage, when they grow up. The probability of them being skeptical about getting into a relationship, trusting the partner, will be marginal.
I don’t intend to generalize, but if the ever increasing trend of divorces has to be controlled, one way is being cautious with love. Falling in Love is easy and it is even easier to fall out of it. Love can never be blind, it has to be completely sighted.
Our forefathers always said, never make any decision when you are at the peak of emotions. Never react when you are too happy, or too sad or too angry. Wait for your emotions to get back on track. I think the same applies to love. It is natural for anyone to feel that they are in love, but, before a decision of marriage is made, one needs to neutrally evaluate the situation. Be sure, that the feelings are not temporary, or if there is anything you are overlooking which can be a cause of drift in the future. Take time and do not haste.
I feel ignorant and hasty love is the root cause of a lot of impending divorce cases. Many times, the couple who have dated each other for years, gone out on innumerable dates, vacations, even had the best physical intimacy, easily fall out of love after marriage.
You would agree that the rate of divorce was really less in the previous generations. Divorce was a great deal for our grandparents or even our parents. So what has really changed? For the sake of this article, I am drawing some comparisons.
I don’t mean to be regressive but in the olden days, the couple rarely spoke or met. Unlike today where we have complete access to our partners. We practically know every detail about our partners, even before we are married. Does this kind of over exposure kill the surprise element after marriage?
Earlier a woman was dependent financially, emotionally on her husband. That is not the case today. A woman is as independent as a man. So, has this led to ego clashes between the couple?
I am sure, our parents had disagreements too. Why wasn’t divorce the best option for them? Did they compromise their whole lives and continue with a failed marriage for the sake of their kids or their families or even worse the society?
I genuinely feel sorry for couples from both generations. Both the generations have their set of issues. Earlier, women and men who actually suffered because of a bad marriage did not have the audacity to come out and get a divorce. Today, divorce has become so easy, that anyone with a shallow reason, goes ahead for a separation.
Not all topics can have a concluding paragraph. Just like this one.
